Puppy Food Conspiracy Theory
Unless you really know my wife, you would be suprised of the trickery she is capable of. The following theory is based on that knowledge.THE FACTS
Saturday, December 17, 2005.
Cyri, Leif, Erin, and I are headed back from the Eidsmoe/Sykora Christmas party. It's a good hour from Hastings to Shakopee. About half way through the trip, Erin states in a commanding voice "Bernt, turn on the light. I think Bella just peed on me."
Sure enough, Bella became a little too relaxed on Erin's lap. It wasn't just a little urine either. Erin was soaked. I should have given Bella the opportunity to go to the bathroom before we left, but I didn't even think about it.
So Erin had to ride the 30 plus minutes back home drenched in puppy pee. She was not happy. The three of us however thought it was rather funny. (Although, we were nice and didn't give Erin too much grief.)
Monday, December 19, 2005.
I arrive home from freelance at approximately 10:45 pm. Greet Erin with a quick peck and ask how her night went. She informed me how Bella had peed twice that night and was now in the kennel. I went to free my little captive and take her outside.
When she got in, I noticed her normally slim, streamlined body now looked like the "I Dream of Jeanie" bottle. Slim on top and bulging on the bottom. So I inquired as too how much Erin fed her. Bella was fed and consumed 3 times as much as she normally gets! 3 times!
THE THEORY
Now, when my beautiful and sweet wife says she didn't know how much to feed her, I'm likely to believe her. But, knowing how her creatively tricky mind works, and taking into the fact Bella relieved herself on my wife's lap not two days earlier, I'm inclined to come up with my own conclusion.
With her one stroke of genius (feeding Bella way too much) she accomplished 3 things:
I'll let you decide.
—b
Saturday, December 17, 2005.
Cyri, Leif, Erin, and I are headed back from the Eidsmoe/Sykora Christmas party. It's a good hour from Hastings to Shakopee. About half way through the trip, Erin states in a commanding voice "Bernt, turn on the light. I think Bella just peed on me."
Sure enough, Bella became a little too relaxed on Erin's lap. It wasn't just a little urine either. Erin was soaked. I should have given Bella the opportunity to go to the bathroom before we left, but I didn't even think about it.
So Erin had to ride the 30 plus minutes back home drenched in puppy pee. She was not happy. The three of us however thought it was rather funny. (Although, we were nice and didn't give Erin too much grief.)
Monday, December 19, 2005.
I arrive home from freelance at approximately 10:45 pm. Greet Erin with a quick peck and ask how her night went. She informed me how Bella had peed twice that night and was now in the kennel. I went to free my little captive and take her outside.
When she got in, I noticed her normally slim, streamlined body now looked like the "I Dream of Jeanie" bottle. Slim on top and bulging on the bottom. So I inquired as too how much Erin fed her. Bella was fed and consumed 3 times as much as she normally gets! 3 times!
THE THEORY
Now, when my beautiful and sweet wife says she didn't know how much to feed her, I'm likely to believe her. But, knowing how her creatively tricky mind works, and taking into the fact Bella relieved herself on my wife's lap not two days earlier, I'm inclined to come up with my own conclusion.
With her one stroke of genius (feeding Bella way too much) she accomplished 3 things:
- Erin was able to get back at Bella. An extremely fat tummy. Pooping all the time. Having to brave the cold more frequently. And Bella being generally uncomfortable.
- Erin was able to get back at me. For wanting and begging for a dog. Smirking at her unpleasent smelly/wet situation during the trip back home.
- Erin is able to get out of puppy duty. Since Bella peed twice in the house while I was gone and Erin didn't know how much to feed her, she gets to prolong not having responsiblity of Bella Monster.
I'll let you decide.
—b
2 comments:
Not only did she get 3 times as much food (to which I was NOT an accomplice) she got a rawhide too, to "keep her busy while we make candy!" I took it away though when I started to see the veins in her stomach sticking out and she basically looked like she was on the verge of exploding! LOL
It's people like my wife who are responsible for the epidemic of puppy obesity! ;)
—b
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