MOA (Malls On Age)

Malls stay the same, the way we use them changes. The variable is the users age.

A mall is:

1. Years 0–1: Just another location where your every need is catered to and you'll never remember any of it.
2. Years 1–3: A ginormous area where big people make you walk fast and not wander.
3. Years 4–7: Still ginormous, you still need to walk fast and not wander, but there are toys in which you can bug the big people about. After all, they bring you there, they're asking for it.
4. Years 7–9: A little bit smaller but still huge. Walking fast doesn't seem to be as much of a problem and you can actually enjoy going to a mall, pending there are stores you like. Hey, you can even have birthday parties in some of them.
5. Years 9–12: Pretty cool when you can go with your friends. Parents are ok...as long as they give you some room.
6. Years 12–14: If you don't go with friends, you don't want to go at all. Even if you get to go with friends, parents are there.
7. Years 14–15: Aargh..! When can we drive!?! Mom! Drop us off here, we'll walk the rest of the way.
   
8. Years 16–17: Freedom!!! (Huh...so like...now what do you wanna do?)
9. Years 18–20: The mall? Yea, how old are you? Besides, who has money to really buy anything anyway.
10. Years 21–25: Yea, let's get outta the house. I can find something to waste my money on.
11. Years 25–30: It's cold outside, lets get some exercise and we can take the kid with. [Kid, see #1]
    
12. Years 30–35: We're running out of some necessities and the mall seems to have it all. I guess that would be the best place to be the most productive, plus the kids are usually content. [Kid, see #2]
    
13. Years 35–40: The kids like helping out and the activity is good for all of us. [Kid, see #3]
    
14. Years 40–45: I can't believe we're going to the mall just so the kids can walk around with their friends. [Kid, see #6]
    
15. Years 45–50: We may be having difficulty with our teens but at least we know what they are doing, where they are, and who they are with. [Kid, see #7]
    
16. Years 50–55: Honey..! Do you think the kids are at the mall? [Kid, see #9]
17. Years 55–60: I really need get some exercise, I do some mall walking.
18. Years 60–65: Kids these days, what are there parents thinking? I don't remember our kids being like that. [Parent, see #15] [Kid, see #7]
19. Years 65–75: The mall? Why would I want to go to the mall? [See #9]
    
20. Years 75–85: The mall, well if my kids didn't take my driving privileges away, I'd be able to go to the mall. [Reminisce, See #7]
21. Years 85–???: [See #1]

So what did we do? See #'s 1 & 2.

—b